Sunday, August 2, 2009

Got Any Roger Whittaker ?...the open door theory...

That was the best question yesterday at Birdman Sound. As I'm a well seasoned record shop/trench warfare kinda guy, I gave a polite and somewhat bewildered no in response, as Wayne Rogers "Infraction" wailed away on the speakers. The "in their early 40's" couple who actually queried about old Roger were way more interested in 2of my dogs, splayed out behind the counter and paying no heed to them whatsoever. After a quick perusal of my cd bins with extreme blankness and screwed up brough action the two hastily exited. One would maybe presume or hope that at their age they were only perhaps looking for an unimaginative bit of music as gifting for someone who gives a shit about Rog. Intuition however told me no. Several friends and customers present were both shocked and humoured about the quest which leads me towards "the doors open" theory. When it's warm or humid the Birdman gate remains closed helping to give the illusion that the place stays somewhat cooler. As is the practice on cooler days, especially when there is a breeze, my big aged oak stump keeps the door wide open. Having been in this particular spot now for onto 19 years I've made some observations regarding "the door open vs. the door closed " thing. Here it is in a nutshell. When my door is closed, many who walk by the shop often stop and look at my window. I have always mostly never had much in the window that ever gives away the fact that inside is a world of wicked music. I currently sport a reclining mannikin wearing a gas mask, a tiki head, a hand painted half wooden door an old tube radio from the early 50's and a plastic lizard. I had for well over a year an old toilet with a turntable platter and tonearm attached. Many passersby luved that one as many photo ops took place on the sidewalk...."yep this is me in the nation's capitol on vacation, standing beside a toilet with turntable stuff attached in a window in some kinda store..neat eh?" I once had a sign in the window for a week that said "no one under 30 admitted without being accompanied by a brain"...don't ask! Generally speaking when the door is closed it creates for the "average" folk a bit of a fear factor I think. Frankly I don't mind that. When on the odd occassion some new face that opens the door and quite literally spends an hour or more pouring over every single piece in the entire shop, only then to approach me regarding the whereabouts of Beatles records? (I rarely do by the way),have any Beatles that is and always even after all the years of repition, wonder what the fuck is up with "that neverending same old shit different day search for sameness and mediocrity! Being relatively polite to all who enter, even the folk with pathetic and obvious quests included, I often fantasize about being the "locked iron gate, buzz me in" kinda joint. Like jewellery stores in big cities, in questionable areas...you know like in the movies....? That would be cool although likely self defeating no? When the door is wide open on those pleasant coolish days, you really lend the oppurtunity for some real show stopper, mutton head action to ensue and it almost always does! (enthusiasm) "Hey let's check this place out"...(dejected in seconds) "Oh, it's just records". I'd be ahead financially a bit if I had a buck every time I heard this uttered between the doltish masses who prowl the streets in search of open door curio! "Just records", "Got any Roger Whittaker?"...when does the quest for mediocrity end?...never! As I put on Loren Connors "Midnight Mary" and store regulars respond with enthusiastic glee and excitement I am pleasantly reminded that when "Birdman normal" returns, that in the end even when closed my door is actually always open...RAFR


B. Roy said...

That Roger Whittaker Mentality is clearly a discredit to humanity... but what a great name for a band!

Any disagreement that Roger Whittaker is essentially a male equivalent of Nana Mouskouri?

luigi said...

John, do you have any ''caravan'' on LP ? Cheezy Luigis