I told myself when posting “Hasta La Vista CKCU-FM” on my blog that I was not going to say another word, including not responding to any of the public responses people might make, either positive or negative. I have not nor am I going to do so. I truly want to focus on finding my new sandbox instead.
What I didn’t anticipate was that hundreds of people would reach out to me – via my FB page, private message, email, in person, by phone, by video chat, etc. This…I definitely want to respond to!
I am humbled by your messages of support, and am truly grateful to be part of a world-wide community of sensitive, caring people, artistic, passionate, intelligent and just all-round good peeps to have, especially now, especially in these weirdest of times.
First off: I am OK, physically and mentally. I really appreciate the folks who asked and who expressed their concern. I get it; it’s a big change-of-life time. It is really hard to let go of something after 35 years, and it is not the first major loss of this particular year either. Younger folks don’t necessarily “get” this (you will eventually…trust me). That said, I really am OK. In hindsight, I should have let go of the bricks and mortar a number of years ago, but stubbornly pressed on, thinking this kind of institution mattered. I don’t really think so now. I am still able to do what I love, and touch base with discerning ears to help them get the platters they are looking for. I have a super solid world-wide network of connections that sustain all of us music freaks through these strange times. Who knows what the future will bring but for now, “I feel fine” with this latest change in my life, another letting go of what was.
Secondly: I had not really considered how other people would perceive and grieve this particular change as a loss, another changing of the times, end of an era. That it is, for sure. Things pass, things change, new things grow. Carol and I have been “blessed” – and I use that term specifically – because we both lost our parents, and grieved those losses hard. Who knew it would be a blessing in these strange times now, to not have to worry, to miss, to miss out, to struggle with not seeing, not knowing, not being able to help our loved ones during such a difficult time. So strange to think that already being apart from our parents turned into a blessing. I guess that is why I think about that, about how we can’t ever know the positives that come out of a huge negative. How we just have to keep on keeping on sometimes, in order to eventually discover the hidden silver lining life offers. Sometimes it takes years to figure that out.
And finally, but not last and not least: what an amazing community of people I have known in my life! Some of you I haven’t heard from in a long time, and I truly appreciate you reaching out. Others have my back (and I have yours) on a more regular basis. But as I said above: what you have in common is that you are passionate, intelligent, artistic, caring peeps and I know you make my life and this world a better place. That for me has been a highlight of 2020.
This is not a typical Johnnie Feck kind of post; not normal circumstances (I hope!); likely not often, if ever, to be repeated. And yet totally worth sharing with you all today. I really appreciate your support, messages and friendship; thanks for being there. I hope that as 2020 draws to a close that you too are able to count the unusual blessings, the unlooked-for blessings, and celebrate life and the change it offers to us.